Tuesday, August 6, 2013

NEW YORK: GONE WITH A SPLASH

2013 is certainly giving us reasons to celebrate in the American LGBT community: with DOMA being shut down and Prop 8 overturned.  However, there’s also plenty of reason to mourn and help fight – yes, I’m looking at you Russia.  As important as it is to discuss such horrific matters, the topic of conversation in this entry stems from upcoming events taking place in my home of New York City. And more notably, the closing of the staple club in Chelsea known as Splash.


Before I get into details let me give you a brief history of my life as a gay man in this city. For starters, I was raised in Long Island, a mere thirty-five minute train ride to the city.  As a family we frequented the city; I remember many-a-day-trips as a young child in the early 1990’s with my father. One time we were on our way to visit lady liberty (I haven’t been back since - what shame!) and I was so scared to leave my father’s side that I remember grabbing the wrong man’s hand and I cried until my father decided to finally come fetch me. My first gay bar experience was in the city at the age of 19 when I finally came out of the closet as “bi”.  It was 2002, I was home for college break, and I went to a bar called Posh because this guy I was speaking to on Gay.com (yes, Gay.com!) asked me to meet him there for a drink.  Still to this day Posh is my watering hole of choice, but at the time for years to come I spent half or my time in Chelsea and the other half broken down between HK and the East Village.

Moving on.

Picture NYC in 2002. There were half the gay bars in HK there are today, and Chelsea was “the place” to see and be seen.  I was a young twink so I never really fit in there as it was covered with muscle heads; still I LOVED hanging out in Chelsea, especially at the Big Cup and eat at Food Bar. Roxy, Heaven and Avalon were still open. In 2004, I graduated from college and moved to Astoria, Queens to be closer to the city I knew I wanted to call home. 

Friday and Saturday nights the conversations with friends were always, “Should we go to the HK area, East Village or Chelsea?”  And the response was typically, “We always do Chelsea, let’s try something new.”  Somehow, even if we didn’t start there, we ended up in Chelsea.  Splash bar was frequented by me because I loved to dance and take my shirt off and I really felt free- incidentally it was the place I experimented with “Special K” in the downstairs bathrooms. (But, only experimented mom, I promise!)


What’s my point?  With Splash now closing there has been so many arguments as to whether or not Chelsea is a “has been” area or if New York City’s gay culture is changing as a whole.  While I have comments I could add about both sides it seems to me that online publications is taking well care of that so I’ll leave them to it.  However, since this announcement arose there has been something I can’t get off my mind: My generation is the forgotten generation in the LGBT community (roughly if you were born between 1977-1987). That can vary depending on the individual, so please don’t bite my head off if you agree/disagree.

What do I mean the forgotten generation?  The quick answer is the generations before and after me had advantages that we didn’t have and they don’t seem to realize they had, whether or not they actually realized it at the time. The world for gay guys 25 and younger today is much different than the world I lived in before 25. The Big Cup in Chelsea was my “Grindr”. We had phones, but it was only to call people – texting was still not fully launched.  So people looked at each other in person rather than a piece of equipment. I wonder if the young gay guys in NYC care about the dying culture of the Chelsea area and the many memories people of my age share with it. Then on the other side of the coin there is the older generation.  My heart goes out to them because they’ve gone through so much to get us to where we are today and I will be forever grateful for their efforts. They come from a world where everyone around them was still dying of AIDS and they fought for not only LGBT rights, but also civil rights for their health. Now, as an HIV positive man who wants to be part of the future movement for help in that community (as well as LGBT rights) my experience with most (not all) is that we are dismissed because we “weren’t there.” They established these “gay ghettos” for us and I know they are saddened to see some of them die, but when I want to share memories with them, I am dismissed, just like I am dismissed from guys under 25. I wish I was my age back then to be part of the disco years and to feel free and safe around my peers rather than having to worry about getting run over by a baby stroller and making too much noise.  The point about the older generation is they had the sense of community.  I don’t have that feeling because we are all not united in that way.

It’s bad enough that I see these “kids” on Grindr that are around 23 years old and their headlines are “no one over 27”.  And older generations still think me being 30 is kind of young and inexperienced. So, I’m stuck in the middle drinking some wine alone while I type this blog – actually I’m so old school that I had to write it down first before typing up the final piece. I reminisce about my “good old days” - before there was Grindr and Facebook; Before all the mom and pop stores in New York were being closed by corporations looking to gentrify the city.  So yes, I can’t say I’m surprised that Splash is closing, and I will admit I was one of many that heard about it stated that Chelsea is dying.  But, when I say that statement I say it with great sadness. 

Sure, there is plenty of reason to celebrate in New York that we are being welcomed by the rest of the city and populations (mostly) and we can all comingle and live together and spread gay run businesses throughout the city where the rent is relatively reasonable still, but what was so bad about having a neighborhood dedicated to our community where still to this day (whether or not gay men will admit out loud) they feel the safest?  What’s wrong with that? How would you feel if you were told they are tearing down the house of which you grew up? 

Okay, so the management style and the overpriced drinks, etc., wasn’t ideal anymore for attending Splash these last few years. However, I’m looking at Splash right now as a symbol rather than a business. It was one of the last surviving places I remember feeling gay and free in my early days coming out.  And now my own gay history is slowly dying – and I know for many gay men I’m not alone here.

I know we can argue that we probably did the same thing when Chelsea was birthed for gays and we abandoned the West Village, where it all began with Stonewall (Yet, the West Village is still going strong for a certain population of gays – food for thought). And then we moved from Chelsea to HK, and slowly to Harlem (and so on). One day (and not so in the distant future) the same movement of closures will happen in the HK area – and that’s a big WHEN not IF.  When Posh closes its doors for good I will actually cry.  Who’s to blame – the city?  Our community?  Both?  Neither? 

The culture of New York that once was praised and envied by others is now dying and many don’t realize it.  It’s for the rich and also for a gay community divided in their opinions and efforts. We just accept all the change around us.  While some of it good, some is not so good. It’s time we as a community in New York start re-evaluating what we want to see in the future of our city – and remember the large population of us 30 and 40 year old gays who have been caught in the middle of all the change – are begging to be heard.


Continuing down this path I just very well may die here – as planned. 

10 comments:

  1. Contact Dr Sambo now for Lottery Spell winning numbers Email: divinespellhome@gmail.com My name is Adrienne Bernardo I Live in:New Jersey, I am 55 years old,I want you to know how Dr Sambo helped me, he is do generous with lottery winning numbers, early this year 2018 I contacted him for a Canadian lottery number, he gave me and I won $750,000,000 SEVEN HUNDRED AND FIFTY MILLION DOLLARS I still can’t believe people could have this kind of powers in this modern days. Dr Sambo is the best, he put a smile on my face and my family is rich now. Everybody must be rich, contact Dr Sambo for lucky winning numbers and be rich all your life. Contact him now, it doesn’t matter where you are ,it doesn’t matter your status in life,just contact him and he will sully help you okay... Email: divinespellhome@gmail.com or divinespellhome@yahoo.com Dr. Sambo Whats,App.+2348145810121

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HIV/AIDS DISEASE HAS CURE CONTACT DR OGUGU NOW Whatsapp/ call: +2348081594908
      I want to share my testimony about my HIV virus that was cured by a herbalist Dr Ogugu with his roots and herbs,Since last 4 years I have being a HIV AID patient. I never think I will live long again and am so grateful about Dr Ogugu who cured my HIV AIDS last week. I was in pains so I told one of my friend and she told me that there is a herbalist that can cure my HIV with his roots and herbs. do contact him now she read someone testimony from a website online on how Dr Ogugu cure her from HIV AIDS and she also collected Dr Ogugu website and email. She gave me the contact info, I emailed him and he prepared herbal medicine for me with his roots and herbs, after two weeks he ask me to go for a test. Which I did, when the doctor told me that am now a HIV negative patient I couldn't believe myself I went to see another doctor and the result was still the same, Thank God everything is fine, I'm cured by Dr Ogugu with his herbal medicine, I'm very thankful to Dr Ogugu and very happy with my family.Dr Ogugu can also offer any types of help like Curing of all types of Diseases and lot's more.

      Whatsapp/ call: +2348081594908
      Email: Oguguspellcaster@gmail.com

      He can also cure the following diseases
      1. Herpes virus
      2. Chronic venous disease
      3. Gonorrhoea
      4. Hiv/aids
      5. Alzheimers disease
      6. Asepsis
      7. Cancer
      8. Cerebrovascular meningitis
      9. Infertility problems
      10. Als/ebv
      11. Hpv
      12. Enlargement of any type
      13. Getting back ex lover/divorce
      14. Hepatitis a,b,c
      15. Syphilis
      16. Arthritis
      17. Severe atopic dermatitis
      18. Leukemia /lupus virus and many more...

      Delete
  2. Irrespective of receiving daily oral or future injectable depot therapies, these require health care visits for medication and monitoring of safety and response. If patients are treated early enough, before a lot of immune system damage has occurred, life expectancy is close to normal, as long as they remain on successful treatment. However, when patients stop therapy, virus rebounds to high levels in most patients, sometimes associated with severe illness because i have gone through this and even an increased risk of death. The aim of “cure”is ongoing but i still do believe my government made millions of ARV drugs instead of finding a cure. for ongoing therapy and monitoring. ARV alone cannot cure HIV as among the cells that are infected are very long-living CD4 memory cells and possibly other cells that act as long-term reservoirs. HIV can hide in these cells without being detected by the body’s immune system. Therefore even when ART completely blocks subsequent rounds of infection of cells, reservoirs that have been infected before therapy initiation persist and from these reservoirs HIV rebounds if therapy is stopped. “Cure” could either mean an eradication cure, which means to completely rid the body of reservoir virus or a functional HIV cure, where HIV may remain in reservoir cells but rebound to high levels is prevented after therapy interruption.Dr Itua Herbal Medicine makes me believes there is a hope for people suffering from,Cancer,Hiv_ Aids,Herpes,Copd,Diabetes,Hepatitis,I read about him online how he cure Tasha and Tara so i contacted him on drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com even talked on whatsapps +2348149277967 believe me it was easy i drank his herbal medicine for two weeks and i was cured just like that isn't Dr Itua a wonder man? Yes he is! I thank him so much so i will advise if you are suffering from one of those diseases Pls do contact him he's a nice man.

    ReplyDelete
  3. !!O yeah i love to gamble cause it was a habit i developed back then in school, the good news am about to share to the public is the great secret behind lottery winners.i played lottery for over 8 years although i stooped playing gamble when i got married to my lovely wife but in 2014 i started all over again in my lottery games but i find it hard and difficult to get lottery correct numbers and i had no luck since 2014 till October 19th 2017 i can never forget the date i met Dr atakuma online how he cast lottery spell for people and they win big/huge money i contact him to give a try cause i really love to win big at times to my greatest surprise Dr atakuma casted a spell that won me lottery jackpot of $5,000,000 (five million dollars). to win the big jackpot of lottery don't think you can do it alone cause spell make more easier to win big just save your constant bad luck of loosing always and contact Dr atakuma via his mail dr.atakumaoracle@outlook.com or whats App call Dr atakuma via phone number on (+2348115696180) wish all that read this post a good luck in there choices.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm 15 years old. I was born with HIV my mother passed away because of the HIV infection And I regret why i never met Dr Itua he could have cured my mum for me because as a single mother it was very hard for my mother I came across Dr itua healing words online about how he cure different disease in different races diseases like HIV/Aids Herpes,Parkison,Copd,Fibromyalgia, Diabetes Hepatitis even Cancer I was so excited but frighten at same time because I haven't come across such thing article online then I contacted Dr Itua on Mail drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com I also chat with him on what's app +2348149277967 he tells me how it works then I tell him I want to proceed I paid him so swiftly Colorado post office I receive my herbal medicine within 4/5 working days he gave me guild lines to follow and here am I living healthy again can imagine how god use men to manifest his works am I writing in all articles online to spread the god work of Dr Itua Herbal Medicine Yes can ask me anything about this on my twitter @ericamilli or text 7205992850.He's a Great Man.

    ReplyDelete
  5. It was during my research on HIV/Herpes that I stumbled upon the Hiv/Herpes information; information which is quite easy to find when doing a search for STD on google. I was into conspiracy at the time thought of HIV/Herpes Cured' being a conspiracy was something Ignorance though,I found pretty interesting about herbal medicine. I asked questions about the Herbal cure's on official HIV/Herpes websites and I was banned for doing so by moderators who told me that I was parroting Hiv/Herpes propaganda. This reinforced my belief that there is a cure for Hiv/Herpes Then i found a lady from germany name Achima Abelard Dr Itua Cure her Hiv so I send him a mail about my situation then talk more about it and send me his herbal medicine I drank for two weeks.And today I'm Cured no Hiv/Herpes in my life,I searched for Hiv/Herpes groups to attempt to make contact with people in order to learn more about Hiv/Herpes Herbal Cure's I believed at this time that you with the same disease this information is helpful to you and I wanted to do the best I could to spread this information in the hopes of helping other people.That Dr Itua Herbal Medicine makes me believes there is a hope for people suffering from,Parkinson's disease,Schizophrenia,Cancer,Scoliosis,Fibromyalgia,Fluoroquinolone Toxicity Syndrome Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva.Fatal Familial Insomnia Factor V Leiden Mutation ,Epilepsy Dupuytren's disease,Desmoplastic small-round-cell tumor Diabetes ,Coeliac disease,Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease,Cerebral Amyloid Angiopathy, Ataxia,Arthritis,Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis,Alzheimer's disease,Adrenocortical carcinoma.Asthma,Allergic diseases.Hiv_ Aids,Herpes,Inflammatory bowel disease ,Copd,Diabetes,Hepatitis,I read about him online how he cure Tasha and Tara,Conley,Mckinney and many more suffrin from all kind of disease so i contacted him . He's a herbal doctor with a unique heart of God, Contact Emal..drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com Phone or whatsapp..+2348149277967.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I was diagnosed about 5 years ago of HIV and have lived taking ARV and thought of having Herbal medicine to cure this disease completely. I wouldn't be able to bare Vomiting and my tongue go white because of these diseases called HIV/Aids. I learned to live with it but I have definitely prayed and had hands laid on me, My friends at work knew about my HIV Status so on a faithful day my friend Hannah talk to me about this great man called Dr Itua From west African because my friend Hannah is from West African too she came to acquire degree here in South Carolina, I accepted the challenge and contacted Dr Itua Herbal Center...drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com also chat on Whatsapp Number.+2348149277967. Then he delivered his Herbal medicine to me which was labeled as Dr Itua Herbal Medicine Cure For HIV/Aids, I took it as he instructed after two weeks I went to test and I was tested Negative. I'm still writing on every blog site related to the following diseases such as HIV/Aids, Herpes Virus, Shingles, Hepatitis B/C, Because he cures this kind of diseases.

    ReplyDelete
  7. It is no secret that I have a very deep and personal relationship with God. I have pushed and resisted that relationship this past year through all the bullshit I have had to go through living with Herpes but once again, God is bigger than my stubbornness and broke through that outbreak cold sore and all I had Genital Herpes. For me personally, hearing over and over how I am not good enough has really invaded my mind in the worst way possible. I completely shut down and I was just waking up like is this how life going to end this temporary herpes outbreak “fuck everybody with herpes if you know what I mean” but let's be honest here...It is a cowardly to say no to herbal medicine. It is fear based. And it is dishonest to what my heart wants. Don't build a wall around yourself because you are afraid of herbals made or taking a bold step especially when it's come to health issues and getting cure. So many young men/ women tell me over and over that Dr Itua is going to scam me but I give him a try to today I feel like no one will ever convince me about herbal medicine I accept Dr Itua herbal medicine because it's cure my herpes just two weeks of drinking it and i have been living for a year and months now I experience outbreak no more, You can contact him if you need his herbal medicine for any such diseases like, Herpes, Hepatitis, HIV, Epilepsy, Infertility, Love Spell,. Email..drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com then what's app.+2348149277967.... My advice to any sick men/women out there is simple... Be Always an open book. Be gut wrenching honest about yourself, your situation, and what you are all about. Don't hold anything back. Holding back will get you nowhere...maybe a one way ticket to lonelyville and that is NOT somewhere you want to be. So my final truth...and I'm just starting to grasp this one..

    ReplyDelete
  8. HELLO EVERYONE.. FEW MUNINETS TO REDY THIS INFOR ON HERPES CURE 2018..
    2017 MY MOTHER WAS DIAGNOSED OF HERPES/ KNOWN AS GENITAL WARTS ,I SPENT A LOT OF MONEY ON HER MEDICATION TILL A POINT I EVEN LOST HOPE,BECAUSE MY MOTHER WAS GRADUALLY DYING AND LOST HER MEMORY TOO, I WAS SO DESPERATE TO GET MY MOTHER BACK TO NORMAL, ONE DAY MY UNCLE WHO LIVES IN LONDON UNITED KINGDOM TOLD ME ABOUT DR OLIHA ,WHO HELPED HIM GET RID OF HERPES /GENITAL WART WITH HERBAL MEDICINE AND HIS HERBAL SOAP ,I WAS SO SHOCKED WHEN HE TOLD ME ABOUT THIS ,ALTHOUGH I NEVER BELIEVE IN HERB BUT, I KEEP TO BELIEVE BECAUSE MY UNCLE CAN'T TELL ME LIES WHEN IT COMES TO HEALTH CONDITION I CONTACTED DR OLIHA VIA HIS EMAIL; OLIHA.MIRACLEMEDICINE@GMAIL.COM , YOU CAN TALK TO HIM VIA CALL OR WHATSAPP MESSENGER ON +2349038382931 , HE REPLIED AND ASK ME TO SEND MY HOME ADDRESS AND MY MOTHER'S DETAIL AND THEN I PURCHASED THE HERBAL MEDICINE,SENT ME THE HERBAL MEDICINE THROUGH COURIER SERVICE, WHEN I RECEIVED THIS HERBAL MEDICINE USED IT FOR 2 WEEKS, AND 4 DAYS OF USAGE THE WARTS FELL OFF, MY MOTHER I NOW TOTALLY CURED AND MY MOTHER IS LIVING FREE AND HAPPY AGAIN. YOU CAN TALK TO DR VIA HIS MOBILE NUMBER OR WHATS APP HIM ON +2349038382931.ALL THANKS TO DOCTOR DR OLIHA

    ReplyDelete
  9. I am Cristina Pereira, I contracted HIV in 2009 I was told by my doctor that there’s no possible cure for HIV. I started taking my ARV’s, My CD4 is 77 and viral load is 112,450. I saw a website of Dr.Ehi, also I saw a lot of testimonials about him on how he uses herbal medicine to cure HIV. I contacted him and told him my problems, He sent me the herbal medicine and I took it for 21 days after then I went for check-up and I was cured. The medicine has NO SIDE EFFECT, there’s no special diet when taking the medicine.  is really a great man contact him now. { Ehicareherbalhome@gmail.com } m the great herbal mercy add him on whatsapp on +2348117827382 thanks once again dr Ehi you are the best I have ever seen

    ReplyDelete